Pure BS

1 October 09

2009-10-01T12:25:00.004+08:00

Lucid dreaming has always been a topic between Subhash and I, as he's been trying to gain some manner of control over his. And of recent date, I've actually been numbering several dreams in which I am able to recall most vividly.

I suppose I should begin a dream journal, as it's one of the strategies for Lucid dreaming, though by now the details of the first dream are rather vague.

Scene 1:
I believe it was some manner of mystery horror, with myself and a number of people being stranded on a cruise liner, with people dying of mysterious circumstances. And in the end, it was revealed that there was an actual ghost, who had helped me unveil the true culprit. The ghost was a young girl, short hair... for some odd reason I was able to shake her hand and hug her in thanks.

Scene 2:
Next in line would be of the action or superhero genre, though I can barely recall actual details of it. Began with me slipping into a theater to watch a survival horror on man-eating plants, which then became me being the hero of said show. I was hunting down a scientist who was an old man, but when we cornered him at his hideout, which was a rickety hut with a bridge out to the other side of a river, we realized he could transfer his consciousness to a female from other faction, who was leading an army of... somethings over the bridge. We blew the bridge up, and I managed to get off a shot to her head with a gun. Details are sketchy at this point, something about taking more than a single bullet, and her appearing behind us, and defeating us soundly. Some fast forwarding later, I was trying to retrieve the last of my hidden equipment when I was greeted by an old friend who passed me his sword.

This is all thanks to the fact that my alarm wakes me up, and I fall asleep again, which inadvertently causes a higher rate of dream recall and me showing up late at work.

Brennan
Signing out.

"Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones, an emptiness began to grow. There's something out there, far from my home, a longing that I've never known"

29 September 09

2009-09-29T13:04:00.003+08:00

Well now, that was a fairly long break between posts, and suffice to say, a number of things have taken place between.

Notably on my mind, is the fact that I was third in line, last Saturday, to collect tickets for Neil Gaiman, for his sessions at the Singapore Writer's Festival next month. I was pretty torn as to which event I'd be choosing, but as my new-found friend, Jason, suggested, I got two tickets for the "Who Killed Amanda Palmer" reading. I also met a fellow enthusiast, Jeremy while waiting in line, as well as two semi-famous bloggers who were at the front, having been there since six plus, in the morning. I settled with arriving around seven. Ah yes, apparently one of them managed to take a sneak shot of me as I looked at my spoils which can be seen HERE. I'm the guy with the squirrel shirt, and the fellow behind me is Jason.

After much deliberation, I've decided what to bring for the signing, that being Neil Gaiman's Batman: Whatever happened to the Caped Crusader, and Absolute Death. Though the latter is not released till next month, and I doubt I'll get my paws on it unless I resort to an online alternative.

Next on the list, is that I've quit playing World of Warcraft, and I don't regret that decision at all. Oddly enough, it's after quitting Warcraft that I find myself incredibly busy, catching up with friends, reading up on all the books I've left on the back burner, not to mention the stacks of games. Though I might guilitily note that I've installed Champions Online, and have been giving that game a shot.

Following that, I've been forced to eat my own words, as I've built back what was lost with Sean, meaning we're friends again. After the fiasco which was Sarah, oddly enough I had forgotten her name, until Sean jogged my memory a little. Note to self, I am ever a fool when it comes to the opposite gender, got to keep my reigns on my emotions. And I'm glad we're friends again mate, least we've got a little time before I say goodbye to this country.

Brennan,
Signing out.

"It's much more fun, I must confess when lives are on the line. Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy. Now that'd be just fine"

1 September 09

2009-09-01T22:20:00.001+08:00

First day of the new month, with nothing new to speak of at work. It's going to be a quiet week, I dare believe. But things always have a way of turning for the worse... eventually.

Couldn't make it home in time to do my heroic daily on Warcraft, which sets me back on two emblems of triumph. Can't believe I forgot to do them the night before. Guess I'll need to wait a little longer for my tier nine pieces after all.

On other notes, I hate you Belle, I really do. Having me watch and sit through Bruno, just because you wanted a movie where you didn't need to think. Because of you, I'll never be able to enjoy Celine Dion's "My heart will go on" the same way, ever again.

Brennan,
Signing out.

"In my dream, the world had suffered a terrible disaster. A black haze shut out the sun, and the darkness was alive with the moans and screams of wounded people. Suddenly, a small light glowed. A candle flickered into life, symbol of hope for millions. A single tiny candle, shining in the ugly dark. I laughed and blew it out."

31 August 09

2009-08-31T14:59:00.004+08:00

An interesting weekend, I'd think.

After spending most of the morning and afternoon working on my shaman alt on Warcraft, Jeff invited me out to watch District 9 on Saturday evening. Was originally planning to watch it with Belle tomorrow, but she wanted to watch Bruno, so it works out. We couldn't get tickets for an earlier show, so we settled with seats for eleven plus.

We burnt the time playing at the arcade as well as on our DS's, as I introduced yet another friend to the wonders of Devil Survivor. I really should work on Guitar Hero's hard mode, as I've yet been able to be proficient with the fifth fret.

The movie itself was fantastic. That's all I can really say. Loved the characters, loved the storyline, loved how it seemed..."true".

Sunday was the usual Dungeons and Dragons game, though we had to wait for Lester's game to finish first. Spoke with an elderly gentleman who was visiting his family here in Singapore. He told many a story of his days in the past, the two world wars, and what he thought of life in his later years. It felt... oddly comforting to be in his presence, learning about the days gone by. And yet I don't feel the same with my own grandfather... Is language all that's barring our thoughts?

Brennan,
Signing out

"Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all."

28 August 09

2009-08-28T21:39:00.002+08:00

Pulled duty for Ee Siong today, since he had to go see a specialist about a certain growth in his leg. I hope it's nothing serious, though I should probably ask him how it went. Duty went on till late in the night, as many of the superiors came back at the last moment, resulting in myself being the last to close up shop.

Rushed back home to play Warcraft with the guys, heroic dailies, along with clearing the ten-men Trial of the Crusader. Next week will be the last boss, in which I do hope I get my axe.

April's over at some manner of event which will take all night, which leaves me to my own devices for the rest of the evening.

Brennan,
Signing out.

"Sometimes it's only madness that makes us what we are."

27 August 09

2009-08-27T22:58:00.002+08:00

Think I've spent a little too much this month, and my savings attest to that. I've got barely enough to scrape by till the next pay day. This has led to the probability that I might stop collecting figurines and models, least, the Japanese ones.

Giving up on Warcraft has been another thought, with another bout of guild drama wearing my patience thin. Though it would seem like I'm leaving several friends in the dust, especially after I've got Erica, Gene and Jef to start playing on the same server. Really should find the time to quest alongside them, bloody raiding schedules are killing my life.

Everyone I know seems to be having a hard time at work, soon enough I'll be joining them. Whatever happened to those dreams I had as a kid?

Cheers,
Brennan

"Princesses don't marry kitchen boys."

26 August 09

2009-08-26T22:59:00.002+08:00

Work's been going rather slow these past few weeks, I suppose it's a good thing, though boredom is an adversary of another kind. Trying to find some manner of entertainment at work, other than falling asleep every other hour...

Life's been passing by in a blur, with close to three months left in this national service. Sooner or later I'll have my freedom back, it's all just a matter of time, after all. For now, I'll pass the time on Warcraft and Monster Hunter, though I should get around to Devil Survivor when I can.

Something's been creeping up on the back of my mind... Can't exactly explain what the feeling is, but something just isn't right.

Brennan,
Signing out.

"I shudder at the concept of a world tamed."

25 August 09

2009-08-25T22:43:00.002+08:00

Managed to get off work early today, as I needed to collect my new pixelated army uniform from the quarter master. Ee Siong came along, as we discussed the raid on Monday, the performances of the new members, and how the guild really screwed up before we managed to down Yogg. Bloody rogue, nabbing my brain portals. Though I did screw up twice, first being that I ran through a cloud while chasing after a guardian, and secondly, that I went insane. Managed to nab the melee trinket from this encounter, which boosts my hit rating a fair bit.

Servers went down early, but I managed to squeeze in several dailies for the champion seals. After that, I fired up Assassin's Creed and cleared the intro quest line. After that, it was a quick shower and change of clothes before I left the place to meet up with April at Novena. Had dinner at that Japanese place, I had been once before with Jude, though surprisingly I didn't have much of an appetite.

On other notes, I've always wanted to own a set of tarot cards, but the artwork available at Kino has always put me off that notion. While browsing at the bookstore with April, I came across the Vertigo tarot card set, with Neil Gaiman doing the intro to it. I was instantly sold, though I think I've spent a little more than I'm comfortable with this month, especially with the amount spent on swag at the convention earlier.

Brennan,
Signing out.

"Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress. It's a love story, baby just say yes."

24 August 09

2009-08-24T14:09:00.002+08:00

Let's see if I can recall what I did over the weekend... Getting all fuzzy now, since the days are flying by rather quickly.

Friday was spent on warcraft, trying to clear Uldaur ten man on hard mode as well as Trial of the Crusader. We cleared the Crusader after a couple of tries, soon as I suggested taking out the tree of life first. On that note, all hail hungering cold! Glad I could put that talent to use somewhere. Unfortunately Ulduar proved to be the thorn at hour side, where we spent the rest of the night wiping at good ol' Freya.

Saturday was spent in town, picking up books and toys... but the latter was fruitless as the stores no longer had the G.I. Joe figures I was looking for, and my Figma figure was sold off before I could get mine. Not exactly the greatest start over the weekend. Thankfully, the third book in the starcraft novel series is out, so I'll probably burn through that real quick like, and the latest trade for Fables as well. I believe this is the one where Boy Blue dies... Was really hoping for him to end up with Red, but... I suppose it's better this way.

Sunday morning was spent sleeping in, until my home campaign in the afternoon. The solo boss encounter was entertaining... for me at the least. And that the party had failed to rescue any of the kidnapped townsfolk was just a bonus on top of it all. Better luck next time guys.

Here's a shout out to April, who's been patient enough to put up with my gaming habits thus far, though constantly calling me a geek is quite the blow to the ego... And tomorrow will mark our first date together so... Here's to hoping I don't screw up.

Brennan,
Signing out.

"Because I'm living faster than my angels can fly. Yeah, I've been wearing the wings off mine, I'm bound to die. I live and lie faster than my angels can fly."

21 August 09

2009-08-21T12:39:00.002+08:00

Well, just came back running to the office, after getting a call from my boss, while half-way through my lunch. The crisis was relatively minor, a cd having to be burnt in haste. But here I am back in the office, with half my break time gone to waste, alas, such is my fate in the army.

Last night's raid was horrid, just plain tedious. Constantly wiping to good ol' General, thanks to all the new raiders who didn't bother reading up on the fight, and interrupts not going as they should have, which resulted in my current bad mood.

I'm pretty darn sure there's going to be worst later in the day, as I'm on duty after all.

Brennan,
Signing out.

"And from the rear-view, I've got a clear view of who I used to be. A little bit faster now, don't want to turn around."

20 August 09

2009-08-20T16:31:00.003+08:00

Well, look's like the family wants me back in Hong Kong, sometime soon, as my return ticket is expiring sometime soonish. Guess I'll have to blow what leave I have left to make the trip back. Could use the company of my younger sister, parents, and my beloved dog, who makes it a point to do a little dance on me every morning to wake me up.

My mother nearly knocked me down a peg when she told me that The Wise Men's Fear was released and sold out, when after a little bit of digging, I found it wasn't so. I was close to firing off a message to all my friends who are dying to get their paws on said book.

As I've noted before, Neil Gaiman's coming for the Singapore Writer's Festival, or so I'm led to believe. Annabelle, Erica and April all want to go to meet him in person, though Annabelle is crafting a marriage proposal, go figure.

Another guild raid tonight... hope things'll go well.

Brennan,
Signing out.

"This phase is going to fly by, so baby, just hold on. It won't be like this for long."

19 August 09

2009-08-19T19:29:00.001+08:00

Woke up late today, so I took the morning off from work. This was probably due to coming back home at three in the morning after a session of wailing on a microphone. I've seem to come down with some manner of the cough, probably aggravated from last night's sore throat. Alas, such are the times. Oh, and I do hope you're feeling a little better, Erica.

On other notes, I can't sing like I used to. Completely blew my mind, and ego.

Work was the usual nonsense, having to walk down the hill to pick up a pair of boots for the department's boss to try on. Other than that, was to spend the rest of the time on ebuddy, chatting with April till I got off work. The office has been rather quiet ever since the half marathon, not that I'm complaining.

I dare hope the guild would be able to raid tonight, and not run into any new technical difficulties, as per the last two weeks. Dying to try out my new frost specialization, hopefully being able to pull ahead of the other blood Death Knights.

Brennan,
Signing out.

“Bad, or good, I don't know. They're a group of incomplete people who wish to be whole. To that end, they're desperately searching for something.”

18 August 09

2009-08-18T12:20:00.001+08:00

Looks like Belle decided to take a rain check on today's movie date, which leaves me open to tonight's karaoke session with Erica and Fern. Can't say that I'm not a little disappointed at this turn of events, but there's always tomorrow, I suppose.

Been tempted with the thought of taking a half-day off, but I doubt the chief clerk would allow it, seeing as there's only two of us at the registry at the moment. Maybe I'll just slip out a couple of hours early later, might just work. Itching to head to a toy store and pick up several G.I. Joe figures, as the ones I wanted, specifically Agent Helix and Scarlet weren't available at the convention. Rather oxymoron, since it was called the comics, games and toys convention.

Managed to exchange numbers and facebook addresses with April, who was the girl I was going on about yesterday. Wonder where events would lead this time around.

On other notes, would Blizzard kindly fix their game already? There's no way the guild can raid with everyone disconnecting at every boss encounter, and with my deathrunes not activating proper like.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“Look, I guarantee that we'll have tough times. And I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you're the only one for me.”

17 August 09

2009-08-17T13:00:00.000+08:00

Most of my weekend was spent at the comics, games and toys convention at Suntec, first on Saturday, hanging with Ben for the most part. Picked up a couple of Code Geass shirts, Warcraft figures, that sort of thing.

Annabelle showed up later in the afternoon, and as she was hungry, I abandoned the day's signing session to take her out for lunch. We tried to rush back, but couldn't make it into the line before they closed it. She felt bad about the whole thing and said she'd come back the next day to get the items signed.

Which brings us to Sunday, where I returned with Jude in tow. Annabelle was supposed to arrive earlier for the signing, to assure a place in the line, but when I got there, she was nowhere in sight. And when she did eventually show up, the print was damaged. Suffice to say, I was a little more than miffed, storming off to have lunch.

My hunger sated and feeling a little better, I went back to the convention, to find her standing at the front of the line for the last signing which would happen an hour later. At that point, I think I felt a little guilty, not to mention disappointed with myself. My temper seems to still be as bad as it was, years ago. So much for maturing and being a better man.

Hopefully I'll be able to make it up to her tomorrow, as I said I'd watch UP with her in the evening. Though Erica and Fern want to go sing karaoke in the same time slot. I'll probably try and fit the two together... somehow or rather.

On other notes, I've been corresponding with a girl I've met online. Though with a little research and googling, I found out that she's Jude's secondary classmate. It's a small world, as Jude kindly added.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”

14 August 09

2009-08-14T11:29:00.001+08:00

So much for a spotless record, completely forgot about blogging yesterday. Ah well, all good things come to an end either way.

Spent a total of an hour last night talking to an old friend, Annabelle, who's currently back in town for the foreseeable future. According to her it's been ten years since our time in Hong Kong, with our old crowd of friends. Has it been that long? She's decided to rent her own place, and live on her own earnings, her step into the shoes of adulthood, I suppose.

Apparently, Belle would only be willing to go out with me if I got her a bag, not just any bag, the sort that puts a dent in one's life savings. I did manage to convince her to join me in attending the comics, toys and games convention this Saturday. Hopefully, Erica, Ben and Jude will be coming along as well.

Additionally, she said Neil Gaiman will be coming into town, within the next two months. I've been driving myself crazy, thinking about what to have him sign. A comic? A book? Will I even get to shake his hand? Fanboyism at it's best, I know.

Ever since the undersea internet cables been hit by debris, raiding has been close to impossible, with our latency shooting through the roof. And here I was hoping to get my hands on Thorim's hammer, or Kologarn's sword. Alas, such will not happen till the internet is fixed.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“For someone who supposedly has her soul tainted by the evil of a dead god, you remind me considerably of a chipmunk with a sugar high and a death wish.”

13 August 09

2009-08-13T11:37:00.000+08:00

I forgot!

Brennan,

Signing out.

Brennan: Why do you use so many big words? Are you trying to make me feel stupid?

Kiser Jhaeri: My utilization of complex locution is more a reflection of my own superincumbent mental acuity than an aspersion on your circumscribed lexicon.

Brennan: Maybe your grandiose vocabulary is a pathetic compensation for an insufficiency in the nether regions of your anatomy.

12 August 09

2009-08-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

Finished up the raid notes for tonight and posted it on the guild forums, though I doubt anyone will bother reading it at this point. It feels good being in a position to lead, almost nostalgic. Though I doubt I'd care for the burdens that come with being an officer. Perhaps something less official, such as Class Lead, seeing as how I'm coordinating all the Death Knights in the guild.

Reminder to myself, not to buy something just because someone says it's a limited edition, as it may be otherwise. I'm sure Yan didn't know that they were just normal stock editions, but it still hurts the wallet somewhat. Think I'll be keeping the Snake Eyes, but giving the other to Jude as a gift. Still want to pick up Scarlet and Agent Helix at some point, though it'll most probably be over the weekend.

Apparently today's Sarah's birthday, not that it should matter. Though I admit to visiting her blog on occasion, it's been a lessening practice over the weeks. I suppose Ben was vaguely correct on certain things, compared to the thrashing I had with Jessica and Melissa, this is hardly anything. Thankfully, the worst is over, and I'm back in my normal mindset.

I should probably start on the write up for the third session of Dungeons and Dragons, but I'm feeling lazy at this point. And I really need to update the music on my MP3 player, as I've been listening to the same tracks over and over again.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“Love who you love with all that you have. And don't waste the time that flies so fast. Love who you love and say that you do. Hold on as tight as they'll let you. Love who you love.”

11 August 09

2009-08-11T10:57:00.001+08:00

I do believe last night's Nine Inch Nails concert have overridden any of the events that have transpired over this long weekend. It was the first time I'd been at an open ground concert, not to mention hearing the term “moshing” for the first time.

I was supposed to have dinner with Erica, but she and her friend Fern, suggested that we should go watch the concert, which was happening at Fort Canning Hill. After the Dungeons and Dragons game in the morning till late afternoon, I hopped on the MRT headed over to meet them. A brief run through Kino for comics later, we tossed our gear into Fern's car, and took to hiking the trek leading to the concert grounds.

The ticket collection, and line wasn't all that bad, probably took roughly twenty minutes at most to find our way to the front of the stage. And there we stood, roughly four rows from the front, chatting and joking, waiting for the show to start. Of note, was this female in what I thought was a black leather corset? She couldn't be more than eighteen years of age, judging from the company she was keeping. She kept voicing her opinions on the concert and interjecting into our conversations. The sort which I dislike immensely.

All the same, I didn't realize what I had gotten myself into, as the band took the stage and began their performance. It was a sheer tidal wave of humans headed for the stage, people crushing one another to get to the front, back and forward, constant motion. I was caught off-guard, quickly separated from my friends, getting tossed around a fair bit, before I noted the talkative girl from before, getting thrown around as well, by the much bigger men.

I probably should note, that I have something of a hero complex, which naturally meant I would interpose myself behind her to stem off the constant waves of people coming from the rear. Though she didn't realize it, as I got constantly thrown into her at times, and probably cause I had anchored my leg forward between hers. She turned around and told me to “watch it”. Go figure.

Though after the initial hard rock music, came a slow song, where we exchanged brief words, before she left to find her friends, and I vacated the human swarm, to sit out on the grass, drenched with sweat. It was definitely not something I was used to, but it was a rush. Something I've never done nor felt before. It was exhausting... but awesome.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“I have a new personal crusade. I'm going to hunt down the people who have strong opinions on subjects they don't understand. Then I'll bop them with this cardboard tube.”

10 August 09

2009-08-10T12:04:00.000+08:00

National Day Holiday!

Brennan,

Signing out.

Aerie: I have a question for you, Imoen... you have the taint of Bhaal within you? Does this mean you will turn into the Slayer as well?

Imoen: I certainly hope not. I... I've been thinking more and more lately about that, myself, though.

Aerie: It must be an awful feeling. I cannot imagine how Brennan deals with it.

Imoen: Yeah... he's been dealing with it longer, too. Sometimes, when it's quiet... I can hear the taint in my heart whispering to me. It says awful things and I almost want to scream to shut them out.

Aerie: (gasp!) You... you haven't done anything that it's said, have you?

Imoen: Well... other than that time I got up in the middle of the night to snatch a bag of cinnamon cookies, heck no.

Aerie: Oh, goo-... what? Cinnamon cookies?

Imoen: Ha ha! Oh, come on, Aerie! Lighten up, willya? I'll tell ya what, if I have any desires to murder you in the middle of the night, you'll be the first to know, okay?

Aerie: That's not very funny, Imoen. Brennan never makes fun of his condition that way.

Brennan: Well, it's been so much easier when I discovered all the Slayer really wants is a sandwich...

Aerie: Oh, fine. Everyone seems determined to make fun of me. I'll stand back here, thank you.

7 August 09

2009-08-07T15:10:00.001+08:00

Late posting, as the blog completely slipped my mind. Today was the celebration of Singapore's national day here in the Ministry, complete with the music and drama company performance, recitation of the pledge, and the need of formal headdress. For once, I'm happy to be having duty today, as it exempts me from going. So I got a solid hour of sleep, while everyone else lounges out in the heat.

Wasted a ton of gold on Warcraft, trying to work out the 3.2 patch changes and builds. Settled with my original dancing rune weapon for blood, and a dual wielding frost build, though I'm still missing epic one handers. Hopefully that'll be fixed in the coming raids.

It's odd that I would find myself missing the company of friends, and even those I hardly know. Tonight's the usual bro night, but I haven't heard word from either of them, which means I'll be spending the entire night on Warcraft. And with Erica at her new internship, the hand phone has fallen to an abrupt silence.

Friday night, and I'll be at home on the computer. A little sad, but I don't mind.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“I know I should go, but I follow you like a man possessed, there's a traitor here beneath my breast. If my heart could beat, it would break my chest, but I can see, you're unimpressed, so leave me be.”

6 August 09

2009-08-06T13:09:00.000+08:00

As to my nature, I completely forgot there was a family barbecue last night, with relatives from my aunt's side. To make the scheduling even tighter, I told Jude that I'd go an watch G.I.Joe with him, and being a Wednesday, it was my guild's raid night on Warcraft. Oddly enough, everything just seemed to work out.

The raid was cancelled as there was a merger going on with some other guild, and massive lag due to the new patch. I told Jude to book the latest movie timing, which gave me more than enough time to complete the new 3.2 dailies, have the barbecue with the family, and still have time to stroll down to the MRT and not need to take a cab to Plaza Singapura.

The movie is actually pretty solid from a neutral standpoint, but from my view point, that of someone familiar with the original canon and cartoon show... it was quite the disappointment. Scarlet with Ripcord? Come on! Baroness with Duke? Don't make me sick. It's all wrong! At least pair Scarlet with Snake Eyes! Well, least Snake Eyes didn't disappoint, though his back story's a little... off. I'm glad he didn't say anything throughout the entire movie, as it should be. And that should be the end of my rant. To anyone not familiar with the movie, it's great stuff.

Nearing the end of the movie, my hand phone kept going off in silent mode. I should know better, but I kept thinking that it might have been Sarah, calling from outside my house, as I did give her my address before we called it quits... Only person who has ever done that was Jessica. Do I miss those days? I can't honestly say. Oh, the calls were from my dad, who wanted to know how the barbecue went. Go figure.

Tonight? Raiding with the new merged guild, wonder how that'll go.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“You can have the money, you can have the house. Take the Cadillac and that pool out back and your mother's pink and yellow couch. You can have every penny that I'll make from this here song. Girl, all I want you to leave me is alone.”

5 August 09

2009-08-05T13:15:00.001+08:00

I've been giving it some thought, as to whether or not I should give up on Warcraft, especially with this week's introduction of the 3.2 patch. I'm not all that keen on having dps competitions with the guild members any more, and the lack of progress from the guild is a severe demoralizer. All the same, what would I do with all that spare time?

Probably finish off Mass Effect, in preparation for the sequel, finish off Jade Empire, that I've just installed... There's a long list of things to do. On the other hand, I'd be leaving my friends I've made on Warcraft, some that I've grown rather close to.

Back in my university days, I remember being taught that the worst thing you could do to a person is to ostracise them. And in part, I feel very much like that at the moment, though I admit, it's probably just another bout of depression I've been prone to these passing years.

And already it's another Singapore National Day, which means I've been here in this office for over a year now. Only four more months to go before I gain my freedom. Everything seems so small compared to that prospect. Whatever shall I do when I leave?

Brennan,

Signing out.

“We only had a few days, and a whole lot of memories to make. Oh man, we were living, didn't waste one minute. We talked and drank and danced and said goodbye. We laughed until we cried.”

4 August 09

2009-08-04T12:45:00.000+08:00

Woke up at five in the morning today, dragging myself out of bed while the world remained asleep, making my way to camp for my life run duty. Exhausted as I am right now, the workday is only half done, with the Army Half Marathon details still to be sorted. Alas, there is still much to do before the work day is out.

Been thinking about replaying Bioware's Jade Empire, simply due to the lack of quality role playing games out at this time. Sure I could probably wait for Dragon Age or Mass Effect 2, but I need something to occupy myself with for now. Now to decided whether to play a male or female character, as well as being Open or Closed First. Choices, choices.

Jude's been wanting to watch G.I.Joe for some time now, not that I'm any less excited about doing so as well. It's the sense of nostalgia one gets from childhood icons, much like the first Transformers movie. It could very be the worst movie ever known to man, but we'd still watch it for all it's CG glory.

Probably going to catch it on the opening night, assuming we manage to book the tickets in time.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.”

3 August 09

2009-08-03T10:58:00.002+08:00

Friday night proved to be an interesting evening, as my father met up with Sherman and my uncle Renaldy, and we had a quick bit at the Shangrila Hotel, I believe. Which pretty much sucked, especially with our refined sense of taste. Of note, my hand phone's SIM card fried. Meaning I currently have no one's numbers aside those who have contacted me over the weekend. Though after some thought, it really isn't all that bad. It's like spring cleaning, with a twist.

Afterwards, we went to a night club by the name of... Genelli's or some sort? I'm certain it starts with a “G” and ends with an “I”, it's located by the taxi stand at Clarke Quay. And I honestly had a blast there, VIP seats non-withstanding. The live performances were spectacular, the ambience just plain amazing. I could see myself there every Friday night, if I had that member's table every time, which I am not. Which means mingling with the dancing crowds, which isn't all that bad, now that I think of it. Though certain tracks late in the evening coupled with alcohol consumed meant flashbacks of times gone by... and depression set in the following day.

Saturday was spent in Orchard road, wandering around, picking up books, comics, mostly to see if my new credit card works, and yes, it does. Yan from rapid culture asked if I'd help out with his panel at the Singapore Toy, Games and Comics convention, I'm tempted, but I'd rather go as a visitor. But that means I'll miss out on buying things without a crowd around.

Had dinner at Lawry's with Jude, where I pretty much tossed my troubles out on the table. Things were going fine for me, I had my weekly routines, I never had to think about anything else. And then Sarah had to come along and ruin a good thing. And now, it's not the loss of her that bugs me, it's that I've been reminded of a life I used to have, and currently long for. Rest of the night was spent wailing on guitar hero at Cine, and all the other gun games.

Sunday was my usual D&D game with the group, got to meet Gene's fiance, who happened to be in town. Must be nice. Any ways, I had better catch up with the first session's write up, or I'll never be able to catch up with the second.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“I wish I could say that if you change your mind I'm here, that if you call for me, I'm there. If you're hurting, I'll run fast. Forget about the past, I'll be right by your side, be right by your side.”

31 July 09

2009-07-31T12:21:00.001+08:00

Did I mention that my father's in town? Which resulted in a family outing last night, with my grandparents, aunt and cousin. I was all riled up with missing a raid, one in which I could finally obtain my four piece set, and the fact that my grandmother isn't exactly the best person to go out with. But family's family. I went out, and had a surprisingly good meal, apparently a diner with a Hong Kong chef, who's a good friend of my father's friend, go figure.

It took a lil' bit of searching, as we've never been there, though we managed to find it in the end, after several phone calls to the restaurant. Seating ourselves inside with the air conditioning, as my father wanted, we proceeded to have our dinner, and eventually found ourselves back home. Dad went out with a family friend for drinks, where I declined, knowing I had work today, and sleep's been an issue as of late.

Joining the raid at close to ten in the evening, we continued to wipe at Hodir, of all places. Partly due to the lack of raid awareness and new players, who have never done it before, even after we've specified that raiders should read up on the raid encounters. Suffice to say, certain people won't be making the cut as full fledged raiders. We did managed to defeat Hodir in the end, though we had to call it as it was getting late. By normal standards, we would have completed all the keepers, and would have attempted the General, but alas, it was otherwise.

I was supposed to join my friends for a game of Nobilis this evening, but with my father in town, I doubt that would be the case. He plans on taking me and his best friend Sherman, to some manner of locale with live music and drinks. And the days go by.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“Look, you have two realities to choose from. First one being that a woman has come into your life in a very unconventional way, and she happens to need your assistance. The second one is that you're an insane person, and you're sitting on a park bench right now talking to yourself.”

30 July 09

2009-07-30T10:41:00.001+08:00

Back in my cubicle, spending the day chasing after documents and the like, for another four more months. Suffering from another bout of depression, much to my chagrin, the usual “Why am I here? Why am I wasting my time?” going through my head. And eventually, it'll all fade away to white noise, as I keep myself busy doing whatever it is I do.

Spent most of yesterday playing the Force Unleashed, reminding me of how much I miss the Knights of the Old Republic, and the fact that I won't be seeing a third in the series any time soon. At least there's Dragon Age to look forward to, not to mention Bioshock 2.

A lil' bit of guild drama happened last night, while I was struggling to tame my internet connection, one of the officers quit the guild in a fit, complaining about how the guild can't even manage to defeat XT on hard mode. I mean, seriously, we only just recently downed Yogg on normal last week, and that took two days of trying. And already you expect us to one shot the hard modes? Be realistic here.

On a stranger note, I couldn't remember the name of my most recent ex, which slightly perturbed me. Is that how it is with past relationships, or memories for that matter? As the Rob Thomas song goes, “in the end, we will only just remember how it feels”.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“I'll leave my window open, because I'm too tired at night to call your name. Just know I'm right here hoping, that you'll come in with the rain.”

29 July 09

2009-07-29T13:40:00.025+08:00

I really shouldn't have stayed out till two in the morning last night, which resulted me in taking a day off today from work, and probably all manner of trouble tomorrow. But the more I think about it, the less I really care as to what happens. National Service hardly means anything to me now, the sooner I'm done with it, the better.

Public Enemies was, suffice to say, different than what I was expecting. But it wasn't a bad movie in all. I always had a soft spot for old fashioned shows, where the characters wear fedora hats and coats, possibly wielding tommy guns, but that's probably just me.

Plans for the rest of the day? Probably another installment of my Dungeons and Dragons write up, if I can bring myself to do so. Or probably just gaming the day away, as I rarely have the time from Warcraft these days.

Brennan,
Signing out.

"No more reasons to deny, that I believed you were mine. I need to let it go, I wish you'd let me go."

28 July 09

2009-07-28T11:57:00.002+08:00

Monday was a quiet day, nothing happened that was out of the ordinary. The usual dailies and raid, though with Yogg down, we were hard pressed to find something to do, resorting to Naxx out of desperation. With only twenty players, we proceeded to clear two wings, and called it.

I've been working on a write up of Sunday's Dungeons and Dragons session, who knew I'd actually enjoy writing? I've always thought I wasn't cut out for such things, with my limited vocabulary and all. In fact, today someone used a word I had no idea existed, “incumbent”. I thought it was a typo at first, but a quick google search proved me otherwise.

So, what of tonight? Think I'll finally get around to watching Public Enemies with Erica, assuming we manage to get tickets.

On other notes, I've been thinking about my past relationships and all of those I've loved along the way. More often than not, things wouldn't work out between us, and we part ways. It's an old habit of mine to attribute a song to a girl. This time, I think it'll be Switchfoot's “You”.

Several times I've caught myself thinking about Sarah, and with great reluctance turning my thoughts quickly to other matters at hand. It's getting easier with each passing day, but what I'd give to be free of this once again, to turn back the clock to the days before Sean even mentioned of her existence. I have to keep myself busy, I need to.

And I suppose that'll be it for today.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“I hope to lose myself for good. I hope to find it in the end. Not in me, it's you. It's all I know.”

27 July 09

2009-07-27T13:39:00.002+08:00

Friday night ended up being a shopping trip with Erica, finally getting my hands on Green Lantern Rebirth, been looking all over for it. Other than that, it was a new issue of Eyeshield 21 among some others. Rest of the night was just spent at Mcdonalds chatting over a drink like we did the last week, till close to two in the morning. Though I still want to go watch Public Enemies at some point this week.

Saturday was slow and quiet for the most part, heading out in the early evening to pick up some supplies for Sunday's game. Gave into temptation and bought Star Wars the Force Unleashed for my PS3, rest of the night was spent playing that.

Sunday's game proved to be a little more than what I could possibly handle, with a total of seven players. Combat was messy, and role playing almost close to non-existent. Met some interesting new folk though, another Asian from Canada by the name of Jef, who's playing the party's eladrin rogue. The game lasted till roughly eight, in which we checked out a new video game store, and went our separate ways.

Picked up a pizza, and downed that real quick, as I was already late for the raid that night. Logged in, joined the raid for what I thought would be another wipe fest at Yogg, but much to my surprise, everything went smooth at our second attempt, downing the brain at two portals in, though I was dead for the majority of phase three, as my cleave aggroed an immortal, and I spent the rest of the fight coordinating the dps over vent.

All in all, it wasn't a bad way to end the week.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“And I'm not planning on leaving yet, but the truth is you just never know. And if this is as good as it gets, man, I think I'm good to go.”

24 July 09

2009-07-24T14:13:00.005+08:00

At least we managed to survive in phase three for at least a whole five minutes this time around, but by then it was already an hour past our usual raiding time. I was close to bailing or rage quitting at that point, as the officers were shouting all manner of cusses over vent, and I was going to have none of it. Even after half a day, I'm still fuming about it. As I told my friend from the beginning of my raiding career, “I'm too poor to raid”. I'm close to not being able to pay for all my repair bills and flasks.

On other notes, it would seem I was too late, when it came to Sarah. So we bid each other our final farewells, while I cracked all manner of jokes. When was the last time I had a cigarette? I sat there on the roof, having a beer and smoke, looking up to the stars, a tired smile on my lips. “It was fun while it lasted” muttered under my breath. This would be the third time I'm walking away, and as some would say, "the third time's the charm".

Back to reality, it's a Friday, meaning it's my turn at duty, getting off late tonight. Making plans right now, probably going to the picture show with Erica, thinking Public Enemies should be an interesting watch. Though Gene's been trying to get me to learn Blood Bowl, and was planning to hang out tonight. Choices, choices...

Brennan,

Signing out.

“I'm going to smile, because I want to make you happy. Laugh, so you can't see me cry. I'm going to let you go in style. And even if it kills me, I'm going to smile.”

23 July 09

2009-07-23T09:07:00.000+08:00

Last night's raid was somewhat of a disappointment, my fate being that my Death Knight will never see the day of having her four piece tier set, as Mimiron refused to drop the token this week. Though XT actually dropped the sigil this time around, though it seemingly screwed up my damage output. So I've switched from blood to unholy, which I need more practice in either way.

It may be my first forays in guild raids in World of Warcraft, but it's not my first in terms of MMORPGS, and suffice to say, I find my current guild much more than lacking. The officers having double standards for raiders, punishing those they dislike, and turning a blind eye to others. Even my friend, who got me into the guild, is an officer, and suffice to say, he's not doing anything to rectify the situation.

On other notes, blue roses has always been a personal favourite flower of mine, ever since I looked up the language of flowers. It signifies a mystery, or attaining the impossible. But apparently, from what I've just found out this morning, in Chinese folklore, it specifically signifies the hope of an unattainable love.

How very fitting.

All it took was a simple fairy tale to have me take a step back, and realize what I've wrought upon myself. Maybe, just maybe, it isn't too late to make amends.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“My people, let me tell you what I see. I see a young man who has always been honest and true. I see a young man who has had the courage to be patient and kind enough to wait until I knew what was in my heart. I see a young man who values me for myself. In his hands he holds a gift of love. And it is blue. And if you cannot see that the rose is blue, I say that you are colour-blind.”

22 July 09

2009-07-22T14:17:00.000+08:00

Let's see what I did yesterday... Caught up on my anime, CANAAN and Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, spent an hour after that conversing with Joshua over the phone, apparently he's gotten himself out of course as well, and is now wasting his time in camp until further posting orders. After that, it was a heated discussion on which animes to watch and the best role playing games of all time, in which I recommended Planescape Torment, although I doubt he can sit through the dated graphics.

The rest of the night was spent on Baldur's Gate II, taking my time to enjoy the experience, traversing through Irenicus's dungeon, Kala's tent of illusions, the Copper Coronet... Though perhaps this time around I might try switching out my members, instead of using the ones I always do. Probably going to switch out Aerie for any other character related to a quest, though I should help free Nalia's Keep next. By the time I completed all that, it was close to two in the morning, which didn't spell all that well for today.

Took all of my sheer will power to get out of bed, as it was cold, and raining heavily. After much tossing and turning under the covers, I did my usual mental countdown, before hurling myself off the bed and onto the floor. I don't mind the rain, in all honesty, but it makes the office a bloody cold place to work. Oh, and apparently there was supposed to be an eclipse today, but inside this cubicle, I probably wouldn't notice if it was literally raining cats and dogs outside, for that matter.

And it was a good thing that I set a reminder last night, to find a song Sarah was looking for, though it's probably been a week or so since I said I'd do it. Took me a couple of minutes to locate it, but the better half of the time trying to upload it as an attachment to an e-mail. Hope you're enjoying it. And I finally managed to find the song I've been searching high and low for, Hall and Oates' “And that's what hurts”.

Tonight's another raid night, meaning senseless keyboard mashing and mouse clicking. Hoorah! Do note the dripping sarcasm. Until I find myself a life, this'll do to burn my time.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“This could be one of those memories we're going to hold on to, cling to, the one we can't forget. Baby, this could be our last first kiss, the dawn of forever. What if this was that moment, that chance worth taking, history in the making?”

21 July 09

2009-07-21T14:37:00.000+08:00

Taking the morning off is starting to become a bad habit, especially if I'm just going to sleep the entire time. And again, I was torn between taking the bus and walking up the massive hill my office stands upon, or taking a taxi the entire way. Knowing how lazy I am, I chose the latter, much to my wallet's chagrin.

Things at the office remain less than optimal, with a single paper driving me around the block. I truly wonder how the army gets anything done, especially if the NSFs are in charge of most of the work being done. But who am I to judge right? I'm just another grunt, slaving away till the end of this year.

Last night's raid was a wipe fest, with Yogg kicking our butts every single time, everyone's patience was running thin, especially with how the raid leader and officers were performing. It was not an entire lost, as I continued discussions with my Death Knight buddy Kuotus, and managed to switch out some gear and gems, with any luck this should further improve my damage output. Though on the other hand the guild needs tanks, and my name's been put forward. Still on the fence about the whole idea.

Been a little depressed the past few days, but when I actually gave it some thought during the taxi ride, there really isn't any reason for it. I've got some of the coolest friends around, I've carved my niche here in Singapore. It's all the little things that I should be happy for.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“Could have been easier? Yeah. A little smoother, right? Maybe so. But lying here with you, would I change one thing about that road? No.”

20 July 09

2009-07-20T09:55:00.001+08:00

After some thought, I suppose it was for the best, that I didn't bother to blog over the weekend, though I suppose a summary of events are in order. And I'm done with the anonymity, everyone's names are up, just because.

On Friday night, plans to hang out with the guys were cancelled, Jude due to work and Ben to his father remarrying the next day. So, I ended up having a late dinner with Erica, she was late by an hour, but it was understandable as she was with a friend who was a nervous wreck, trying to plan his proposal, and which ring to get. For that hour, I was in Kino, finally got around to picking up Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corp Wars, though I couldn't find Rebirth, still looking for that now. Additionally, Alan Moore's run of Superman and Neil Gaiman's Batman. Suffice to say, my sling bag was rather heavy afterwards.

Now, what did I do on Saturday... oh right, spent the morning finishing off dailies on World of Warcraft, since I still owed Ee Siong about a thousand and five hundred gold, for the Nobles Deck trinket. Recalling that Sarah was working that day, I offered to visit her, which meant a long and uneventful trip down to Vivo. Where I accompanied her on a smoke break, and thus went separate ways, as she was busy with a friend that night. She's ever so busy, I wonder if she ever makes time for herself, among other things.

The saying goes that love makes men do the foolish of things. I suppose I was a victim of such that day, riding the MRT across town to spend a mere five minutes with her. My actions are becoming less tolerable to my practical self, to the point where I was having a conversation with myself, based on the two incarnations, practical and passionate. Doesn't change the fact that the long trip back home served to worsen my already dark mood.

That night however, Jude came over with a six-pack and I picked up a large pizza, while we jammed on Guitar Hero, and watched Saturday Night Live. For those couple of hours, between the gaming and beer buzz, I could forget all my troubles.

Got around to installing Baldur's Gate and Planescape Torment, though installing the patches and mods took quite a fair bit of time, to say the least. Now, if only I had the time to play.

Sunday was the usual Dungeons and Dragons game, though as I left the house, I received a sms from Jaslyn, and that she couldn't make the game today. Which left me a little disheartened, seeing as it's been two weeks in a row without the proper amount of players for a game. Even during the game itself, I was feeling a little less than cheery, as the player characters promptly chewed through whatever monsters the module threw at them.

Though fortunately at the end, Gene noted that he wanted a game with a semblance of continuity, which resulted in me currently coming up with ideas for a home campaign that begins this coming weekend. I'm torn between actually coming up with an original campaign based in Eberron, or to just print out the Scales of War adventure path from Dungeon and run that. I'll run it by the players and see what they have to say about that.

Later that night, it was back to World of Warcraft, with my character topping the damager-per-second charts, for the most part. Once again, the new players proved to be the guild's undoing, wiping at Ignus three times, and even when I noted that there was no chance at possibly defeating Yogg, the guild officers had us wipe it several times. Hoorah for upper management!

And now, cooped up in the office, rushing some manner of papers which someone else should have done ages ago, until tonight's inevitable Yogg raid.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“And I hope they know I never would have made it this far on my own. Where would we be without those fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, the friends I've made, the long lost lovers. I wouldn't be who I am today, if not for those I've loved along the way.”

17 July 09

2009-07-17T15:01:00.000+08:00

And finally, at long last, it's the end of another week. Fortunately, I won't be having to pull any extra duties today, which means I have more time for myself this evening.

As it stands, there are two options for tonight, one being the usual drinking and hanging out with the guys, the other would be to have a late dinner with a fellow World of Warcraft player, who I should probably note is female, and only a recent entry in my life. And yes, we're just friends, for those of you who don't know any better.

I'll probably sit back and down a few with the guys first, though one of them only books out at eight, over at Dempsy, in uniform. He did mention I should bring a spare t-shirt for him, I'm tempted on buying a neon pink shirt on the way over.

On other notes, I've had this incredible urge to dig up my copy of Planescape Torment and run through the entire thing, or Baldur's Gate for that matter. Classic role playing games, that'll always be worth revisiting.

Alas, the work day is not over just yet.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“If there is anything I have learned in my travels across the Planes, it is that many things may change the nature of a man. Whether regret, or love, or revenge or fear - whatever you believe can change the nature of a man, can. I’ve seen belief move cities, make men stave off death, and turn an evil hag's heart half-circle. This entire Fortress has been constructed from belief. Belief damned a woman, whose heart clung to the hope that another loved her when he did not. Once, it made a man seek immortality and achieve it. And it has made a posturing spirit think it is something more than a part of me.”

16 July 09

2009-07-16T15:26:00.000+08:00

Well, seeing that I've been consistently sleeping at one in the morning and getting up at six for the past week, I decided to take the morning off from work, and sleep in. Unfortunately, here I am in the office, yawning away, trying my best not to succumb to sleepiness. I guess I'll be tired, or bored, at work regardless, it's just the way of things.

Setting up another game of Dungeons and Dragons this coming Sunday, attendance seems to be mediocre at best, I'm tempted to just stop hosting the games, seeing as I'm doing most of the work while the players are for the most part, playing. If I do stop such, I'd have my mornings open for my own doings, but knowing myself, it'll just mean waking up late, and wasting the morning away. Go figure.

Yet another raid night is upon me, yesterday's run was a little bumpy seeing as the guild had a fair number of new recruits. None of the equipment I was hoping for dropped, so I'm getting a little wired about that. After the raid, I spent some time helping a fellow Death Knight with his rotations, with any luck, he should be able to outdo my damage meters tonight. The problem was simply that he was actively dumping his rune power, when he should have been putting priority on clearing runes that were refreshing.

Which brings us back to the matter of said female. Though I am finding it hard to put my feelings into words, my actions have spoken for themselves. No more worrying, no more caring, no more hurting.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“But I wish there was something you would do or say, to try and make me change my mind and stay. We never did too much talking anyway, so don't think twice, it's all right.”

15 July 09

2009-07-15T14:19:00.000+08:00

Spent most of the morning and afternoon discussing World of Warcraft with a co-worker of mine. Thanks to him, I've been able to raid endgame content, and lose whatever semblance of a social life I had in the first place. Not that I'm complaining, the game distracts me from my other brooding thoughts, whether it's about the national service I'm performing, or affairs of the heart.

Due to the guild's raiding schedule, I'm pretty much only left with Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays to do my own thing. Sunday morning's are taken up with my weekly Dungeons and Dragons game which I host, due to no one else taking up the reigns. Friday nights are typically the so dubbed “Bro's Night”, where three of us usually hang out in the city, perhaps catching a flick or a drink.

As busy as I am, I can't help but have the inkling feeling that if I had too much time for myself, my thoughts would wander off to places left untouched. As I noted before, what is life without it's dramas?

Was this how it felt before I walked away from it all? Worrying a little too much, caring a little too much.

Every fibre in my being is screaming for me to go, nothing good is going to come out of this. Unfortunately, when was the last time a burning heart has listened to cooler heads?

I just can't seem to shake this feeling off.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“I am so close now to walking away, about to walk a path I've got to take. I am packing up, heading out. I can't sleep, I'm dreaming way too loud. I'm so close now, so close now, to getting out”

14 July 09

2009-07-14T13:10:00.006+08:00

An idiot of a colleague has once again taken sick leave, leaving me to do all the work, and the day's duty, suffice to say, it'll be another late night, this would be... the third time in a row, how quaint. Decided that I'd be having enough of his malingering, and brought it to the attention of several superiors, who have seconded the same concerns I have. With a little luck, something will come of this, though I highly doubt it.

On other notes, there's been a girl on my mind for the past week or two. Things between us seem to be at in an odd situation at best, seeing as I've only seen her three times in total, and we don't speak on the phone on a regular basis. She's usually out with her own friends, as she's the popular sort, with numerous suitors waiting at her door's step, among others who are already sneaking in through the back.

So what makes me think I'm any better than those waiting?

She said so. But are words alone enough to settle the storm brewing in my mind? I'm beginning to doubt it, where a building sense of paranoia and jealousy has been causing me all manner of discomfort. Summarized, I've fallen for yet another girl, but I'm doing my utmost to act indifferent.

And to my horror, this entire situation echoes past experiences. Though knowing the mistakes I've made in the past, may prove to be the difference this time around.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“All he knows are highways and broken hearts, late nights and old guitars. Wondering where you are, you're so far away”

13 July 09

2009-07-13T11:04:00.001+08:00

I suppose a lot has happened over the past two weeks, which warrants some matter of posting.

It started all harmlessly at the beginning with a girl approaching a friend of mine and expressing some manner of interest. Being that he has close to no experience with the opposite gender, he came to me for advice, though I suppose in retrospect, I forced it upon him, for better or worst.

One thing led to another, though a moment worth mentioning was right after a Nobilis game, he was sharing sms's with the female in question. At the spur of the moment, I borrowed his phone and called her, arranging a meet up not far from the location we were at. Soon as our little group met up with her, I, with not much subtlety, asked her out for drinks with my friend, after which I walked away to head on home. From what I heard afterwards, things went well, with the two of them kissing at some point.

Typically, that would be the end of the story. But what is life without it's dramas?

I returned home that night, fired up my computer and did what I'd usually do, whether it surfing the net, or gaming. In the late hours of the night, I saw that the female in question was on MSN, so being the curious sort, I asked her how it went. At that point, I was ready to walk away from it all. Allowing things to run their course between my friend and her.

But I didn't.

Till now, I wonder if I betrayed my own convictions and beliefs that night.

The results of the unsaid actions? My friend no longer speaks to me. I'm not bitter at this lost, as I used the analogy of lending a friend twenty dollars, only to have him run off with it. It was worth the twenty dollars. Letting, of all things, a girl come between our friendship? I remain disappointed in him, and have no interest in rebuilding burnt bridges. Especially, if I didn't do the burning in the first place.

Brennan,

Signing out.

“Your faith walks on broken glass and the hangover doesn't pass. Nothings ever built to last, you're in ruins”